The Hays Family : February 2013

Dear Birth Mother/Parents

We want to first thank you for choosing adoption. Adoption is a wonderful and selfless act that holds a child at the highest pinnacle of love and thoughtfulness. We are amazed at your courage. Although Melissa and I do not know you, we are faithfully praying for you and your child. We can only imagine the difficult process you are going through to be choosing adoption.

We also want to thank you for taking the time to consider our family to be the adoptive family of your child. We are very excited for you to explore this blog and hope that you feel like you really know us as a result. Our children, Lillian and John Whitten, are very excited to have a new little brother or sister join our family.

Please know that we are open to an open adoption-pictures, updates, videos, visits, etc. We know that in the beginning an open adoption might be to painful or difficult and we completely understand and respect that, but we want you to know that no matter what you chose our door is always open to you.

We are Shaun, Melissa, Lillian and John Whitten Hays.

The first thing Shaun and I would want you to know about us and our family is that we are first and foremost children of Christ. Our beliefs are the focal point in our family and we strive to have Christ at the center of our day to day lives. We are deeply involved in our church and different church activities, of which they have an entire program dedicated to children with special needs. We desire for our children never to see themselves as biological or adopted, black or white, able body or disabled, "normal" or Down syndrome but rather our prayer is for them to only identify themselves as children of God who are fearfully and wonderfully made exactly as God intended them to be.

We have been married for six years(married in 2007), and have two children, Lillian and John-Whitten. Adoption was something that was first brought up when we were still in the dating stage of our relationship. It has always been something that was on Melissa's heart, and it didn't take long before God laid it on Shaun's heart as well. We often discussed when the right time was to take this step, and it has always just been apart of the "plan" for us. As we grew in our marriage and grew our family we felt lead to adopt a child with special needs. We are both young, healthy individuals and have an amazing support system through our family and our friends. Both of whom live just minutes away from us. We have been blessed with the resources that we need to raise a child with Down syndrome, and have already explored the many academic and social activities that our community can offer them. We considered many different adoption avenues concerning children with special needs, and once we discovered National Down Syndrome Adoption Network we knew that was the path for us. We are so excited to grow our family through adoption and especially through adopting a child with Down syndrome.

How Our Lives Have Been Touched By Down Syndrome:
Growing up Melissa lived next door to a women with Down syndrome. Donna was an adult with Down syndrome so it allowed Melissa to see what an amazing and productive life a person with Down syndrome can have. In middle school and high school Melissa got to see the adolescent side of a person with Down syndrome while working with kids in her school's special education program. She feels very fortunate to have had that experience, because it shed light on a lot of stereotypes that were simply false or misleading. In June of 2012 our own family was touched with Down syndrome when Melissa's Aunt and Uncle gave birth to a beautiful little girl, Morgan. It was shortly after her birth that Morgan was diagnosed with Down syndrome. It was surprising for our family, but everyone has embraced her and feel as though our lives have so much more joy now that she is apart of our family. Melissa's Aunt, Uncle and Morgan live just a few miles away from us, so it is nice knowing that once we are chosen for an adoption that there will be another child in our family who has Down syndrome. It will be an amazing source of support and will be wonderful for our future child to have a cousin who also has Down Syndrome. Morgan will be two years old in March of 2013. Also, thanks to the amazing resources we have in our area, such as The Exceptional Foundation and The Bell Center, we have been able to watch Morgan flourish and meet all of her expected milestones on and ahead of schedule. A child begins going to The Bell Center at six weeks old. Early intervention is a huge part of their therapies.

Our cousin, Morgan.

Shaun
Shaun is 30 years old with brown hair and green eyes. He is six feet tall and 210 pounds. He enjoys playing golf, playing his guitar, playing basketball, weight training, running, family camping, and hiking trips. Shaun enjoys learning new things and teaching himself new skills. Most of all he enjoys being with his children. Shaun always says, "What greater adventure is there than exploring the world with people who have never seen it?"

Shaun is a CPA, and works as a Senior Accountant for an International company who's home office is here in Birmingham. He has an undergraduate degree in Accounting that he obtained from Auburn University(War Eagle!), as well as a Master’s Degree in Accountancy that he earned at University of Alabama at Birmingham. Shaun has worked in the accounting field for the past four years and worked in the insurance industry prior. He works about 40 to 45 hours per week, but we have been fortunate enough for Melissa to be able to stay home with the kids. Shaun's parents and two brothers(both are married with children) live just five minutes away from us and are always a wonderful pair of helping hands.

Melissa

Melissa is 28 years old, 5’7 with brown hair, hazel eyes and weigh 130 pounds. She loves to be outside and likes to hike, camp, walk our dog and plays basketball on a women's team at our church. But more than anything she loves her children and getting to spend special time with each one of them individually. She grew up playing basketball, volleyball and soccer and still enjoys playing. We always have the radio on for “background” noise, and often we will find ourselves all dancing in the kitchen together while Melissa is preparing dinner.

We are very fortunate for Melissa to be able to stay home with our children. Before our daughter was born she worked as a preschool teacher at a small Day School. While she enjoyed what she did before becoming a mom, we both felt like it was important for her to be home with our children full time. It is a time that she truly cherishes. Melissa is very close with her parents, two brothers and sister. Her sister, Alli, has three boys, the first two whom are Lillian and John-Whitten's ages, and her third being one and a half. Melissa and Alli are both stay home Moms, and are involved in the same playgroups in our community. They see each other every day and are extremely close. Our children are all very close and play together almost everyday.

Lillian
Our daughter Lillian is our sweet, reserved little girl. She has a very nurturing spirit and is truly an old soul. She loves to do arts and crafts, and could color or paint for hours on end. She loves school and has greatly excels in math particularly. Which of course her accountant Father loves! Lillian loves to try new things, but soccer and gymnastics seem to be her favorite extra activities. She also loves her American Girl doll! We are constantly amazed at her maturity as well as her compassion for people. We joke that she is a second mommy to her younger brother. He typically goes to Lillian for help with something before coming to one of us. We have loved watching them grow so close over these last few years and are thankful for the relationship they share. Lillian is an amazing big sister and cannot wait to meet her her new brother or sister! She is five years old (5/15/2008).

Lillian imagination is always going...we dress up a few times a day

Lillian and her Grandfather on a family vacation to the beach

John-Whitten
Our son John-Whitten is all boy, and on the go most of the time, except when he is looking for some cuddles. He is kind-hearted and has an incredibly sweet and gentle spirit. He loves anything that involves being outside or getting dirty. However, he will also sit in your lap and let you read books to him for hours at a a time. He is a big cuddle bug and loves to give you kisses and hugs. Everyone describes him as "jolly". He has such a baby face, and he is always smiling and laughing so I guess jolly really does describe him perfectly. He is in awe of big sister Lillian and follows her all over the place. They are always together playing and it is a joy to watch their relationship grow. John-Whitten also participates in a preschool program through The Bell Center, that puts children with Down syndrome and children who do not have Down Syndrome in the same class. They buddy up together to participate in varies activities and learning games. John Whitten is three years old (9/15/2010).

Our Fur Baby
Our dog Jack is an apricot toy poodle. He is full of energy and personality. Lillian and John Whitten love him to death(sometimes actually close to death). We joke that he deserves the Puppy Noble Peace prize because he really is the most patient dog. He is well loved on by our two kiddos and he always just sits there and lets them love on him. Shaun is allergic to dogs so it was important for us to find a dog that was hypoallergenic, which Jack is. Shaun has had no problems with his allergies since we got Jack in January of 2012.

Lillian watching tv with Jack.

Our Home

The home we live in is a cozy, warm and welcoming one story home, with a full basement and garage. The neighborhood is a fairly small subdivision with a lot of great families. It is a neighborhood that you always see people walking their dogs or taking a stroll with their little ones. We have a fire station with a park right next to our house (you can walk to it), and we enjoy going to it to play on the playground and sneak a peek at the fire trucks! The school system we are zoned for is an award winning school and offers an amazing special education program. They have physical therapists, occupational therapists, speech therapist and special education assistants that work with the students on a daily basis. Children with special needs are also included in regular classroom activities as much as possible.

We have two amazing hospitals located less than ten miles from our home. UAB and Children's of Alabama are both hospitals that are recognized on a national level for their outstanding care and research. UAB Adult Down Syndrome Clinic as well as Children's Hospital of Alabama's Down Syndrome Clinic are listed as one of the top five treatment centers for Down Syndrome in the country. Our family doctor is aware of our plans to adopt a child with Down syndrome and is very supportive. He currently has patients with Down syndrome under his care.
http://www.newsmax.com/FastFeatures/Treatment-center-for-Down/2011/03/08/id/388774

Our Little Lovey
When we began our adoption process in March of 2012 we took our kids to pick out this little lovey for their new brother or sister. They both were given one just like this(just a different animal) when they were born. As a family, we enjoy spending time together every night talking about our adoption and praying for the birthparents and your sweet baby.We cannot wait to give this little lovey to our son or daughter one day.

We are so honored that you took the time to look at our profile, and we hope that you feel like you know a little more about us after reading it. Please know that you are always on our hearts and in our prayers.

** If you still would like to know more about us, or if there are any specific questions that you would like to ask me or my husband, always feel free to email them to us at hayshousewife@gmail.com

Love,

Shaun, Melissa, Lillian and John Whitten

Halloween festival 2012